Even if it’s just for a weekend, or a couple days, having that time together to look forward to is crucial. Visit as often as you can – maybe this is a cheat, but in order to maintain a relationship despite the distance, I think it’s important to see each other as frequently as possible.So we know that long distance relationships are hard, but what can we do about it? Despite the distance, these are our top five tips to keep a relationship strong.
TAKING A BREAK IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP HOW TO
How to counteract the reasons why long distance relationships don’t work I know that I personally struggled a lot, which is why I ended up moving here to Morocco. Even amazing relationships can’t weather that much distance forever. I truly believe that relationships are meant to be lived together, and it put so much unnecessary strain on a relationship when the couple can’t be together in person. Knowing that there will be an end to the distance is essential in maintaining the momentum and excitement about the relationship.
There are couples who can successfully maintain a long distance relationship for many years, and I even know some personally.īut I think for the majority of people, it’s far too challenging to maintain that level of distant intimacy for very long. You need to be able to know that there’s an end in sight for the long distance, or it’s impossible to maintain. In that case, your relationship is going to fizzle out.īut arguably, even more than that, I think a lack of exit plan kills a relationship. Suppose you don’t maintain a sense of deep curiosity about how they live their life, how they interact with the world, who their closest relationships are, what they value and find fascinating. The main thing that kills a long distance relationship is a lack of curiosity and interest in the other person. Reasons why long distance relationships don’t work But what about when your character is called into question with a stressful situation, or you’ve observed to be interacting with somebody who doesn’t paint you in the best light? You can present yourself as a gracious, kind person in a controlled environment (like a video call or a text message). We don’t want to seem annoying, rude, condescending, or un-generous. Why is this? Well, because we want to put our best foot forward. I’ve known people who spoke for years before they met in person, and the person they met was entirely different from the way they presented themselves online or over the phone. But, have you been to a carnival together? Have you seen concerts together? Do you know how they react to the world around them because you observed it? How do they treat waiters, the elderly, children, animals? Are they kind to people who don’t benefit them? Or are you building up the idea of a person based on how they perceive themselves, not how you observe them to be?Īnother reason why long distance relationships don’t work is that it’s challenging to get an idea of a person’s character in short snippets of time or over a controlled environment like texting. Sure, you may have talked about your deepest, darkest fears. When your relationship is primarily online, over the phone, or texting, it builds up a false sense of intimacy.
You build trust and intimacy in relationships through having experienced the world side-by-side. How much of that time is spent reminiscing, laughing about inside jokes, and reflecting on your shared history together? Even when you don’t realize it, a lot of your relationships are spent reflecting and enjoying those times you’ve had together. Think about the time you spend with your close friends. When you’re in a long distance relationship, it really prevents you from making a lot of those memories because your connection is so conversation-focus, not activity-focused. Relationships are built based on shared experiences and history. What initially attracts you to a person is not necessarily the thing that will make a relationship successful or not. A big part of it is that a relationship isn’t just based on common interests and hobbies, or shared sense of humor, or a favorite Netflix show. Reasons why long distance relationships don’t workĪs somebody who has been in multiple long-distance relationships, I have some ideas about why long distance relationships don’t work.
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